This Is For My Homegirls
Somewhere along the way I lost my mojo. My belief in myself waned when I was let go from what I thought was my dream job. And it took a long time for it to come back. I allowed myself to wallow in what I deemed a healthy and necessary manner but in reality it was the exact opposite.
I had lost my confidence in what I was capable of doing and had no real burning desire to keep moving forward. Which was a hard pill to swallow. I was doing work here and there but nothing felt like me.
It was weird. And I was not a fan.
But little by little I began to gather myself and revel in my badassery. I began to take risks that were not calculated and more true to myself than ever before and it paid of. My magic was working it's way back to me. Mostly in the form of my tribe, the women I was surrounding myself with. My homegirls, my family and my friends. They were there cheering me on and tagging me when and where appropriate to keep me motivated and sharing my shit whenever they could. That got me through. These many awesome women I'm lucky to call girlfriends.
These women have saved me.
They counseled and consoled me. They kept in touch when I shut down and pulled away. They lit the way when it was too dark for me to see. In short, they are my life lines and I am legit, hashtag blessed to have them in my corner.
They reminded me of my magic and made it a priority to point it out to me at every turn. They challenge me and call me out when I fall short. I don't always like that, but it's necessary and much appreciated. We all need friends who will tell us the truth about ourselves. Both what we want to hear and what we need to hear.
Don't trip - we don't always see eye to eye on everything but that's not what's important, and would be totally boring if we did. I love them fiercely and with total abandon because of who they are as individuals, not who I want them to be.
Honestly, they're all so different it's kind of a wonder that we are friends but in this digital life there is kind of a secret sisterhood and they are the secrets to my success. There is something about knowing I have a several safe spaces to turn to when things get pear shaped and I feel too mired in the muck to move forward. Grateful for the women who text and sometimes call (although mercifully ask if I can talk before they do) to check on me and make sure I'm taking care of myself as well as I do my family.
For years I struggled to find my people. For years I wondered when / if I was ever going to have the type of friendships I saw on TV and in the movies. Friends that would fly across the country in a heartbeat and let you snot cry into their shoulder. And I realize that I have that. I've always had that with a select few and I've added a couple more into the fold as the years have gone on.
As we get older it gets harder to get together and staying up all night seems less exciting but when we are together we are unstoppable and a force to be reckoned with.
So cheers to you my friends, my homegirls, my comadres, my partners in crime and in petty shenanigans. I love you fiercely and with my whole heart and I thank you for all that you have done, have been and will do.