Monday, November 7, 2016

It's Been A Week




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It's crazy to think things were all good about a week ago. But then again, I guess they weren't really. 
Last Saturday, October 29, my dad had a stroke some time in the morning. He managed to reach out to me and in turn, I called both my brother and the paramedics & jammed down to the hospital. It was the longest drive back to the neighborhoods I grew up in I've ever had. Seeing my dad back in a hospital bed with leads attached was jarring to say the least. Having him become upset over my concern was heartbreaking.  It's been a ridiculous roller-coaster ride of emotions and I've felt slightly unhinged for days. 

I've always been a Daddy's girl, and he my right hand man. We've been known to chat on the phone several times a week and still find new things to discuss. I used to half-joke that we all know I'm not wrapped too tight and that if anything ever happened to my dad, they'd need to put me in a padded cell for awhile and then two years ago he wound up in the hospital and I was panicked but I dealt(not very well I might add). That time my brother quickly hopped a flight from the ATL and we worked it out. More him than me. Because reasons. 
But this time, this time it's really been all me. And it seems surreal that it's barely been a week and we've all somehow made it through. I made it through. Without, my older sibling or my aunt coming to my rescue.
Sure, I'm behind on SO MUCH work and my house needs a good run of the vacuum and toilet scrubbing but, thanks to my dope ass tribe of familia, homegirls and friends via a slew of texts, DM's and threats to send cases of wine I was able to keep pushing through. 
At some point the starkness of my reality hit and everything came crashing down and I did a serious wall slide into self despair but then I re-read some of those texts and DM's and took it upon myself to get up, get out and do something. My dad requested, even while dealing with his own health, that I buy myself & the kids something to make up for me being gone so much. So I did.




It has felt like a lifetime but has barely been 7 days. I am mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted but I am here. I made my dad laugh on day 4, a deep belly laugh that caused a whole smile to stretch across his face and it made my heart swell and my eyes water. He's still here. No matter what he's dealing with, he's still HERE. So I'm going to make the most of this time.
I'm taking all the pictures and I want to know all the stories, in whatever way he can manage to tell them.  And when my brother makes it out here we'll work things out once again. 
There is a long road ahead for my dad and for us as we figure out the subsequent steps to recovery but I'm taking it one day at a time the only way I know how.
And to think, it was all good about a week ago.


Call your parents y'all. 

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