Sunday, February 14, 2016
Always and Forever, Daddy's Little Girl
I've always been what you might call a "Daddy's Girl" my dad is my homie and in my eyes, the dopest thing ever. He's smart, honest and kind and he's always been there when I needed it. Right now our relationship is amazing but it has taken years to get it this way.
When I was younger, I was very much in awe of my father. He was an imposing figure in my head and because of his arduous work schedule as an OBGYN he was only "sort of" around. My parents were also separated for years so it was completley normal to not really have my dad "there" in the everyday sense but he was there. I have always known that. He was still my hero in a sense and I was a 'good girl' but because he was so busy he became an afterthought for my brother and I. We found ourselves spending most holidays with our mom and her group of girlfriends and our godsisters. By the time I left for college I barely spent any time with my dad at all. But I was too busy with my own life to really be concerned about his.
Then one summer in between my sophomore and junior year of college, I abruptly moved in without so much as a "do you mind?" That summer changed everything. I was about to turn 21 and felt like I was on the verge of AMAZING but didn't know how to channel that energy. My dad was incredible. He sat and listened to me run my mouth about non-sense on a daily basis and let me have the freedom to manuever as an adult while still being my dad. Since then our relationship has ebbed and flowed over the years and as my family has grown so has our bond. I recently called him to apologize for my adolescence, after a trying day with my own teenager, apparently my awesome didn't kick in until 18.
Watching this film with my husband and seeing his reaction having dealt with an absentee father himself was awesome. It sparked some deep conversations with each other about our childhoods and our goals as parents. We had no idea it was going to affect us the way it did.
While I've never had to deal with an absentee father or one who's battling an addiction of any kind,I can certainly relate to Che's wanting to find his father and reconnect. ‘In My Father’s House’, an award winning film, Che finds and works to rebuild his relationship with his father, an alcoholic living on the streets in the South Side of Chicago, not too far from his childhood home. The film won at last year’s Bentonville Film Festival, and it's quite obvious, why. While watching Che work to get through to his father, and learning how to see his father for who is his now and not what he was, or what he wanted him to be, was a strong reminder that as parents we're all struggling. At times it was hard to watch because I really felt for Che and his dad and was moved to tears thinking about how relationships ebb and flow. In My Father's House was a powerful movie about family and fatherhood and I'm glad we were able to watch it.