Sunday, February 28, 2016

London Calling

this accurately sums us up.

Saturday one of my best friends hopped on a flight to London. That sentence is hardly extraordinary nor is the act out of character for her, but this is different. This time, she's not coming back in a few days or weeks.
She's moving. 
A few months back she was offered an awesome and amazing opportunity that she has worked so hard for and is so deserving of. So she said yes.  And I am uber proud of her. Like parental proud. Cuz that's my girl
I know how far she's come. I know how hard she's worked. I was there when it all started (sort of) being that we met my sophomore/ her junior year in college. 
I had no idea then that she and I would become who we are. Nor that our friendship would have grown and sustained throughout all the time space and changes life has thrown at us.
She is my ride or die. For real. Like she would totally drive the getaway car if I needed her to even though she'd have serious reservations about it. But she would understand cuz #pettywap. She'd also have secured us an alibi (Hey Seesey) and prepared for any other contigencies cuz that's how she rolls. This is also why we're friends.

the college years

I am in awe of her intelligence and poise and sometimes I wonder how (how Sway??) she has remained by my side for all these years. Y'all know I'm a hot mess. But no matter what has happened she has been there. And I for her. As much as I could and as much as she'd let me because at the end of the day she's still a Virgo and gonna do it her way.

No - this Saturday was different. My phone rang while I was mid taco + margarita at birthday party and I text her as much. "I'm on the plane" was all I got back.
I swallowed my bite as I rushed outside to hear better. When she picked up I could hear the pre-flight announcements and my heart seemed to sink and soar at the same time.
THIS was it. 
The moment she/we had been waiting for. 
Because I wear my heart on my sleeve and lack a filter I told her I was sad and going to cry and true to form started sniveling right away. I want her to go, I am excited for her adventure. But damn I'm going to miss my friend. We quickly said our goodbyes and I said something foolish cuz that's what I do, she laughed cuz that's what she does and I went in the house and cried into my margarita. 

Go best fren, that's my best fren.

When she first told me about the offer around thanksgiving, I legit squealed in Sprouts. I knew she was going to crush the interview and when she called me after I told her - "You got this. #putitintheuniverse "
And she did.
And I am thrilled. I am also selfishly sad. Sure, she was currently residing in Nashville and I live in California. And so what if we only saw each other a few times a year (although last year was AWESOME for girl time) ?  Those times were OUR times. And they could be counted on. We have a standing post-thanksgiving brunch date that will most likely be missed this year. OR it could just happen across the pond. 
But still.  Now I'm really going to have to calculate the time difference for texting as I am the queen of the late night WC early morning EC nonsense text and we'll have to actually schedule our face timing instead of just winging it. 

Seesey, T, and me. Resting Brunch Face like what. 

So yeah - I have the sads. 
Cuz my girl, she's super fuckin' rad. 
And then I think of all the new adventures that we can have in another country and my sadness lifts a bit. Because it's not about how I feel. It's about her.
She is taking a huge leap and the amount of faith and trust she has in herself is being put to the test. She's not alone of course because she's hella international, but I know when she finally steps into her space, sets her bags down and takes in her surroundings, there is going to be an indescribable feeling.
Both fear, joy, and excitement at the opportunity of it all. 
And I wish I could be there to witness that because she is so deserving of all of it and I know she's going to continue to be more than amazing. 
Because that what she does. 
She's a boss ass chick.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Resting Brunch Face

You might recall a few weeks back that I was crushing on this sweatshirt from Dear Naturalista and had it on my wish list. Obviously I made it mine, but being me, had to wait until I'd gotten my hair done to wear it. Call me crazy or vain, but I have a thing about wearing clothes or outfits I've been crushing on when I'm not feeling my hair. Especially when I have a particular look in mind. Also - it was time for a change. I'd had bangs for almost two months and while they were fun, I was over them. This is also why I don't mess with my own hair as much. After I mistakenly took my postpartum hair as permanence and decided to throw in too many highlights, I learned I'd rather experiment with a protective style rather than damage my own hair. 

When I looked at my calendar for the week and saw that brunch with my sister in love was scheduled for the weekend I automatically knew what I was going to wear. I mean, coming off of Bey's video and performance I was FEELING myself and I wanted the world to know, I came to slay. And the James Republic was the perfect place to showcase my slayage.  

Not gonna lie, I was pretty excited my hair was cooperating and it didn't take forever to 'get right'. I had someplace else to go later in the afternoon and had no desire to have to worry about my curls lasting all day. And y'all won't believe the amount of comments I got on my sweatshirt from ERRYBODY in the restaurant, on the street and throughout the rest of the day. That obviously made me feel good as it's a piece that I love and am happy to have invested in. The fact that it's hella soft inside is just icing on the cake. 

I had to hip my sister in love to the art of taking outfit photos for me ("Don't take one, take 37!" At least.) but she ended up killing it and I'm super happy with the way they came out. Cuz in reality, this isn't some super stylized outfit shoot that I'll end up photo shopping the hell out of just to get the right light and angles. It's just me on a Saturday, brunching in my old 'hood with my sister friend, enjoying the summer-like weather and bottomless mimosas. 

And can we talk about how I pretty much live in these jeans? I tried to wear some without holes in the knees a few weeks back (when it was much colder) and it just didn't feel right. Even though they're lacking front pockets, a fact I perpetually forget, they're hella comfortable and hit at just length round my ankles. And y'all know my love for leopard is real so the kicks are a no brainer for taking me from the brunch life to the mama life in the time it takes to cruise down the freeway.
And honestly, that's what the style posts on this blog are all about. That's what I'm all about really.  Real life style for real life. 

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Always and Forever, Daddy's Little Girl

I've always been what you might call a "Daddy's Girl" my dad is my homie and in my eyes, the dopest thing ever. He's smart, honest and kind and he's always been there when I needed it. Right now our relationship is amazing but it has taken years to get it this way.  
When I was younger, I was very much in awe of my father. He was an imposing figure in my head and because of his arduous work schedule as an OBGYN he was only "sort of" around. My parents were also separated for years so it was completley normal to not really have my dad "there" in the everyday sense but he was there. I have always known that. He was still my hero in a sense  and I was a 'good girl' but because he was so busy he became an afterthought for my brother and I. We found ourselves spending most holidays with our mom and her group of girlfriends and our godsisters. By the time I left for college I barely spent any time with my dad at all. But I was too busy with my own life to really be concerned about his. 
Then one summer in between my sophomore and junior year of college, I abruptly moved in without so much as a "do you mind?" That summer changed everything. I was about to turn 21 and felt like I was on the verge of AMAZING  but didn't know how to channel that energy. My dad was incredible. He sat and listened to me run my mouth about non-sense on a daily basis and let me have the freedom to manuever as an adult while still being my dad. Since then our relationship has ebbed and flowed over the years and as my family has grown so has our bond. I recently called him to apologize for my adolescence, after a trying day with my own teenager, apparently my awesome didn't kick in until 18. 
Watching this film with my husband and seeing his reaction having dealt with an absentee father himself was awesome. It sparked some deep conversations with each other about our childhoods and our goals as parents. We had no idea it was going to affect us the way it did. 

While I've never had to deal with an absentee father or one who's battling an addiction of any kind,I can certainly relate to Che's wanting to find his father and reconnect.  ‘In My Father’s House’, an award winning film, Che finds and works to rebuild his relationship with his father, an alcoholic living on the streets in the South Side of Chicago, not too far from his childhood home. The film won at last year’s Bentonville Film Festival, and it's quite obvious, why. While watching Che work to get through to his father,  and learning how to see his father for who is his now and not what he was, or what he wanted him to be, was a strong reminder that as parents we're all struggling. At times it was hard to watch because I really felt for Che and his dad and was moved to tears thinking about how relationships ebb and flow. In My Father's House was a powerful movie about family and fatherhood and I'm glad we were able to watch it. 

IN MY FATHER’S HOUSE is now available on Digital, VOD, and DVD! Get your copy at Walmart today. 

About Bentonville Film Festival (BFF)
Bentonville Film Festival was founded by Academy Award Winner® Geena Davis and festival co-founder Trevor Drinkwater in 2015. BFF’s mission is to encourage representation of diversity in film and other forms of media, and they support minorities and women by providing a platform to showcase their work.
BFF is the only film competition in the world to guarantee theatrical, television, digital and retail home entertainment distribution for its winners. The 2016 Festival will be held May 3 – 8 in Bentonville, Arkansas in partnership with founding sponsor Walmart, presenting sponsor Coca-Cola and distribution partners AMC Theatres and Lifetime. Like me, they want to see a world where diversity is celebrated and appreciated. Many thanks to BFF for sponsoring this post, and for the work that they do with artists and filmmakers.
This is post was sponsored by the Bentonville Film Festival. While the views expressed here are absolutely mine, compensation was paid to me to produce this post. #ShareYourTruth 

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The Future is HERE with Macy's Black History Month

*This post was sponspred by Everywhere Agency; however all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

It's that time of year again, where I get to work with Macy's and meet some of my favorite celebs and talk about style and the future of black women in the arts as it relates to fashion and history. I kind of love this about my job. I get to mix my favorites subjects, with my love of Black History and have the opportunity to hob-knob with women I've admired and watched grow up over the years. You may remember last year, I met June Ambrose and Johnetta Boone. I've continued to be inspired by both women ever since so I'm really looking forward to this year's event as well. 


Seriously, I remember seeing Jurnee on "The Cosby Show" and in "Eve's Bayou" and thought she was just the cutest. Having watched her grow into a young woman it's been fun to see her style evolve as she has. Monica will also be in the house and I'm SUPER geeked. I've been a LONG time fan of hers. "One of Dem Days" was my JAM.  But with her being a mother as well I'm interested to see how she's managed to maintain her personal style, celebrity persona and mom life while all in the public eye. Anywho - I'm excited to head back to Macy's in Baldwin Hills to hang out with these ladies for a conversation on all things African American and I can't wait to share it all with you. 

So if you're local come join  Jurnee, Monica (and me!) and celebrate Black History Month with Macy's as they salute these rising icons of African American culture at Baldwin Hills next Thursday February 18th at 6:30pm.  It's always fun to get to see actors in a more intimate element and hear their take on what's going on in the entertainment industry and how they manage so I do hope you'll come out and hang for a bit! 

You can check out all the details for this event here  and be sure to check out to find out more about the Black History Month celebrations you can attend and what else they have on deck!!

Hope to see you there! 

Monday, February 8, 2016

Cuz I Slay, We Slay and the Badassery that is Beyonce

So this past weekend might have just been the blackest thing that has ever happened during Black History month. 
Friday night was the much anticipated NAACP Image Awards where EVERYBODY showed up and showed OUT , sans Stacey Dash of course. Anthony Anderson opened the show with a rap detailing WHY the awards are so dope while emulating N.W.A and it was dope. That pretty much kicked off my weekend feeling of slayage. 

And then - Beyonce went and dropped a video on a Saturday afternoon while most of us were still recovering from brunch or the night before. I didn't even find out about it until late Saturday afternoon, but was still in no rush to view it. While I enjoy Bey's music, I'm not a  card carrying member of the Beyhive but like Luvvie said, I'd like to come to this week's meeting.  After I kept seeing all my FAVES on FB talking about the video and highlighting specific portions I finally took a moment to view it. 
I wasn't ready. Formation is EVERYTHING. 
Bey woke the hell up and wanted everyone to know. And I am ALL THE WAY here for it. ALL. THE.WAY. 

Her use of symbolism, imagery and language is not lost on me or anyone else. Girlfriend knows exactly what she is doing and what message she was trying to convey. Some are only going to see her dancing in a (pseudo) body suit. The rest of us see a woman using her star power to call attention to the issues of the day. FINALLY.  
Paying homage to her creole and southern roots she spoke to my soul and I have not been right since. There was/is so much to process and I'm still working it all out in my head and with others on FB. Because damn Bey.

She sank a cop car. In New Orleans. In the heart of the city that was ravaged by water. Where no one came to their aid. She sunk it with the sheer force of her body. She sacrificed herself like the holy mother and went down with the ship. In the realest way.  She let it be known she's not here to play with y'all, your conspiracy theories and or what folks have to say about her baby and her man. 

Oh, and it was Super Bowl weekend. Knowing the world is watching and waiting for her to perform "with" Cold Play. - she WENT.THERE.  The way we all hoped she would. 
Across the bay from Oakland where they first launched their free lunch program, Bey's dancers paid homage to the Black Panthers with their berets and unabashedly black natural hair. And then she and Bruno had a dance battle dressed in all black like the omen and the undercurrents running through that stadium were PALPABLE. The symbolism y'all. It's so deep there will be discussions for months to come. 

And on top of ALL of that? She announced a freaking tour this summer. Right after the performance. Who does that?Beyonce. That's who.
Tickets to the Formation tour will go on pre-sale Tuesday. Regular tickets go on sale next Tuesday. 
She clearly gives no fucks about anyone's rent, bills, kids that need shoes or Valentine's plans. I have never been to a Beyonce concert and was side-eyeing the hell out of folks for spending so much for On The Run tickets but please believe I will be utilizing all of my resources to score a pair of tix to this show. Cuz damn. Game over.

Yeah,Luvvie took the words right out of my mouth calling her the Matron Saint of Fuck Your Feelings and I'm gonna nod my head furiously in agreement cuz yeah. Homegirl came all the way through. 

Have you seen the video yet? What are your thoughts on it?

Monday, February 1, 2016

Let's Fall In Love: 50 Dates Challenge

Last year I remember scrolling IG and seeing my blogging friend Ashlee post a Flipagram with the tag #50thomasdatesin2014 and throughout the year saw other blogging friends labeling photos "date 12/50" etc. Meanwhile, my name twin Talk to Amber and I had brunch and a long chat about being wives/mothers and having regular date nights and she told me how she and her husband had planned theirs out in advance  and I loved the idea. But then life happened and we just kept on doing what we had always been doing. Don't get me wrong, D and I do pretty well in the #datingyourspouse department but they have sort of become.....expected (?) dates. I.E. anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's etc with a few other miscellaneous nights thrown in for good measure. And they are for sure not planned out in advance. 

We used to do Wednesday night movie nights at home while I was postpartum but stopped as sleep patterns were put to the test and required multiple trips upstairs and pausing of said movies. So we put it on the back burner a bit. Because we were being held hostage by a tiny (albeit adorable) terrorist. But in the last year or so we really stepped our game up. Last year was the #dorseysummeroffood and we had many a date stuffing our faces and soaking up the California culture. This year, I want us to be more intentional with our dates so we decided to take on the 50 dates challenge.

Basically, it is what it says it is, a challenge to you and your significant other to get in 50 dates over the course of 2016. It doesn't sound like a lot right? Seems easy enough until you start to pull out your calendar to schedule them.  But the beauty of this challenge is that it's going to require some creativity as budgets are a real thing in my house and also because D is going to have to plan some of these dates as well. And by plan, I mean block out time on the calendar as well as coordinate a sitter and come up with the plan. I'm pretty excited about it. They don't have to be super extravagant because really it's about the experience, being intentional about spending time together and creating these new memories together. Also - I love a good challenge.

Naturally we decided to go big and have our first two dates of the year back to back.  That Saturday night was our "annual" January date for D's BFF's birthday (dinner & movie) and we made a whole night of it. It was like we were back in college again and we whooped it up big time. Sunday was date #2 and this time is was a retirement party/birthday dinner for MY BFF's mama. 

We had a GRAND time meeting the familia and cutting a rug with the more "seasoned" set. We got to to get dressed up (heyyy sequins) and it was kind of perfect as the next was MLK Day and we had the day off to reminisce about the fun we had, compare stories from moments we missed and recharge for the week ahead. We were off to a great start! 

But then the rest of the month went rushing by and because we didn't plan; we didn't get the other dates in. No worries, we'll just make it up elsewhere.

So here's the game plan:

  • 50 Dates in 2016 - That's roughly 4 dates a month which is totally do-able if planned properly. Also, dates can also include trips away just the two of us because heyy second honeymoon. 
  • At the end of each month we'll sit down and schedule out what dates we're planning, how much we'll need and also if a baby sitter is required. 
  • Think outside the box - get back to the "broke dating" we did in college.
  • Pics or it didn't happen! 

** there may be a caveat where a trip will count for a month of dates, my husband and all his friends turn 40 this year and I know someone is going to want to get out of town at some point.

We're both really excited for this challenge and know that we're going to have to step things up if we truly plan to meet our goal of all 50 dates (we've got 48 to go!) 

So, are you into it? Join us in the challenge and follow along the #50dorseydates16 and tag your own photos #C2C50dates and maybe you'll be entered to win a fun prize at the end of the challenge (wink, wink). I'd love to see what other couples are up to and steal your ideas! 

Happy dating! 


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