As much as my head wants to be all business as usual and go about posting and planning and whatnot I would be remiss if I did not write anything. And I think that after three days of a kind of media silence I am finally ready to speak.
The shooting in Newtown was a unfathomable tragedy. As soon as I saw the clip on the news I immediately contacted my BFF who lives in Stratford, a mere 25 minutes away.
All I could think about were her two children. I knew they were okay but watching a clip on the news there was a young girl walking out of the school and she looked like Cadence. It broke my heart and I turned the channel before more details were offered. I chose not to watch the news most of the weekend as I was not yet prepared to delve into the details. I was still a bit raw without really realizing it. I needed time to process the events of Friday morning but I needed to do it in a way that was more filtered than the blinding media coverage of the actions of a troubled young man. I know what happened. I know how many angels entered heaven's gates that morning but I had/have no desire to dwell on it. We chose to briefly discuss the facts with our daughter Friday evening but that was really it. I wanted her to understand but not be afraid, to ask questions but not become obsessed.
Instead, we enjoyed time well spent as a family. We played, laughed and enjoyed each others company all weekend. I reveled in my children and the mundane of our lives.
As grumpy as I was that she had been sent home sick the day and I had to run out in the rain with the baby to pick her up, I was happy I kept her home. Happy she was home safe with me. Turns out the generator blew out in front of the school and everyone was sent home. The timing of it was not lost on me.
My heart goes out to those mothers who lost their babies. Mothers who sent their kids off to school without a second thought as to whether or not they would be safe. My prayers for their families and friends who remain and will forever wonder "why?" I can't wrap my head around that kind of pain. It could as easily have been my child, at our local school.
In light of the tragedy that has rocked our nation it definitely feels 'odd' to post about my winter beauty necessities, my holiday wish list, featured posts and reply to tweets about giveaways and the like. All the usual frivolity and pomp of the blogger holiday season. But at the same time, I am craving some kind of normalcy. Some kind of way to put this shocking news behind me and move on. And in the same instance I am struck by the stark reality that there is no happy medium. For many it will be January before the re-enter the world of social media. For others it was a mere hours.
I know many were disappointed in brands/blogs that continued "business as usual" as details were still rolling in. Everyone has their own decisions to make and we can only do what feels right for us.
For me my own posting schedule will resume later this week.
I need some lighthearted distraction in the wake of recent events and I think a silly wish list will do just that. For me. Because that's how I roll. I need to be distracted by the benign in times of significant heartache. And that's totally okay.
But I think that this also begs us as a society to begin to have the tough conversations. Talks about gun control sure, but even more so talks about mental illness and how this country deals with those who suffer from the many forms of their own personal hell. It's a tough topic but one that definitely needs to be addressed. I know so many people who suffer from various forms of depression, chemical imbalances etc. there is no voice for them in society and we need to change that.
School safety also needs to be addressed as many schools have 'policies' regarding on campus visitors but how are these to be enforced in a non obtrusive way? I'll be interested to see what, if any, changes are made to the local schools around here as well as on the national level.
Now that we are in the aftermath, some still reeling from the shock, most processing their grief, hopefully we will come together as a nation, a community of parents willing to cast up their prayers in support of those who need them. Not Republicans or Democrats. Red states or blue. Just Americans leaning on our Father and each other in one of our darkest hours.
Please join me in lifting up all the families that have been/ will be affected by this horrific tragedy.