Thursday, August 9, 2012

Balance and Options

My wonderful husband is a Libra and if you know anything about astrology & Libra's you know that they are the sign of the scales. They strive to find balance in everything at all times.
It's wonderful for me because, as a Gemini, I have a tendency to spread myself too thin and be all over the place all the time. And he helps me work towards achieving this mysterious balance thing so I'm not running around like a crazy person at all times.
However, I've learned over the course of my life and in particular the last few years....there really is no such thing as perfect balance for me.
Well quite honestly, for most women I talk to it seems. Even if they say otherwise.
We spend a lot of time wanting to have it all. Family, career, creative endeavors, friends, love.
And we spend even more time juggling all those things.
Sometimes we do a great job at it and other times. Well, things get tricky and we drop the ball. Literally.
I'm always intrigued by the women who are out there in the public eye saying "Ladies you can have it all. I do. And I do a fabulous job. All the time."
I wonder 1) how do they know they do a fabulous job all the time? who is grading / telling them this? 2) do they have some sort of grade scale that proves this? 3)Is "having it all" really all its cracked up to be?
I completely believe that being a wife, a mother and having some type of career is completely possible.
I'm just not sure it's for everybody and I think the sooner we stop making women feel inferior if they are not excelling at all three that they are some how 'less than' the better women will start to feel about themselves. We are all making ourselves crazy because we are trying to compete with someone else's standard of balance.
We put a lot of pressure on ourselves as women and don't really need anyone else to do it for us. We feel we need to be the best at pretty much all we do and still have perfect houses, fit figures and romantic love lives. But the reality is, sometimes there are dust bunnies that are going to collect. And while I mean that quite figuratively, I am also quite serious.
There will be times when we forget about the school bake sale, or that really important email from work. Or worse still we might zone out when our spouse talks because we're trying to remember : did I send that last email to the right person, do the kiddos have enough clean underwear and how on earth are we going to fit in time to see our friends?
It's all too much.
I can't really talk because even though I quit my full time job to stay at home and be better at my real full time job, I am still actively seeking outside employment.
But I only accept it when it's on my terms.
DVF
Writing is something that works because I can set a schedule for it by the way the baby naps and Sweet Pea's school day. Makeup artistry is also great because it allows me to express myself creatively and I can do it pretty much when I want to.
But the balancing it all part? Still hard.
There is so much that needs to be done each day to maintain the household, family life, outside relationships and run a business that its easy to feel as though you are walking a tight rope whilst juggling several (heavy) objects.
It's a thin line in which we are balancing all the options available to us.
For me, it's about doing what I enjoy and taking in each moment as it comes. Sometimes that means stopping work so I can cook dinner, get on the floor and play with the baby or postponing writing that eloquent  post because my daughter wants to watch Craft Wars with me.
At the same time I still have to set boundaries (time wise) so I don't get too caught up in one thing that I neglect something else.
It's not always perfect. My house gets messy, dinner is sometimes delayed, clothes are left in laundry baskets....but you know what? 
I am a work in progress and I fail more often than not but I feel that at this stage in my life at least I am following my heart and working towards living out the dream I have in my head. Doing my best to find a balance within my options.

1 comment:

  1. LOVE THIS and you. And I'm starting to get very "WHO CARES" about the pressure I put on myself. I mean, I still put pressure on myself, but I feel like, if I don't blog anything good this week, WHATEVER. If I have a messy kitchen for a hot minute/week WHATEVER. I'm not going to make myself crazy anymore, I say until tomorrow when I go nutso again ;)

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