Monday, March 5, 2012

Postpartum

So now that you've read the birth story and my thoughts on the difference of a decade let's talk get down to the nitty gritty.
Postpartum.
Ugh. Even the word sounds semi depressing doesn't it? But this is where I'm at.
Almost two weeks post delivery and my body is a constantly changing marvel. I am both amazed and dismayed at the way it's progressing. Being a normally physically active individual I have a hard time realizing that my body has limits and I have to rest and heal completely before I can begin to get my "sexy" back. I don't have delusions of grandeur about how that is going to be hard work but I really want to get to it!
I have a passion for fashion and I can't wait to re-organize my closet into one that works for me and my style and allows me to dress with ease and not have to wade my way through items I have no intention of ever wearing.
But right now I am stuck in limbo. 
I can only do so much each day and realize that I have put immense strain on my body with this baby and patience and recovery are all I have at this point.
My husband is personally awed by how I have bounced back (in some ways) so quickly. He kind of thinks I'm super woman and while that feels good, I know there are limits to how much my body can take each day.
I did leave the hospital in two days and felt pretty good after the surgery. But I simply chalk that up to good drugs. I am not afraid or ashamed to admit when I am in pain and can't do anymore.
That's helped a lot.
 Babe being home daily has also been a huge blessing.
He's taken over a fair share of my usual "duties" and is making sure I get enough rest and eat properly.
I am so blessed to have a husband like him.
We are still in the 'honeymoon' stage of postpartum where everything he does is cute.
Poops are hilarious and so is the accidental pee that occurs when his business is exposed to the air for too long during a diaper change.
We were a bit delirious the first few days and found ourselves cracking up over the slightest things in the wee morning hours.
I have never loved this man more than when he made me almost pee my pants in the middle of a diaper change as I was explaining to him how well "boudreaux's butt paste" was working on the diaper rash.
He thought I said "Lou Rawls" and that gave us a case of the silly giggles.
There is another part of the recovery process that people don't really talk about: the depression/ raging hormones.
Its BA-NANAS.
You are crazy hormonal whilst pregnant and then completely euphoric upon delivery and then swing back to crazy lady about a week later.
I've found myself crying over commercials, getting emotional over perceived slights or digs and having to take a 'time out' in the bathroom to compose myself.
Writing has helped to combat this round of the post-baby-crazy as I like to call it. Having an outlet to purge my thoughts both real and irrational is great help to my sanity.
I have a strong desire to just get out of the house and go somewhere.
Anywhere at this point.
 But having a c-section has a troublesome downside: no driving for at least two weeks.
Oy.
I'm stuck in the house and there is nothing I can really do about it.
I walked Sweet Pea around the corner on Saturday for a sleep over and that was bliss to get out, even if it was only for 15 minutes and it was blustery out.
Fortunately, my BFF Michelle came into town this week and I was able to spend to afternoons with her just sitting around the house, talking, catching up on life and laughing uncontrollably.
There is nothing like a little quality girl time to boost your spirits.
Even if it is on your couch and you're wearing sweat pants.
Actually most of my girlfriends have made it by in the past week and I've been able to feel a bit more like myself with each visit.
It's also helping that my legs no longer look like they are in sausage casings when wearing leggings and I can lean over and touch my toes to stretch out my calves.
I feel like ME again!
Not to mention that the cleavage situation. It is out of control!
I'd forgotten how breastfeeding affects the body and how my boobs were going to swell up beyond recognition. Not that I'm complaining. Quite the contrary. I hope they stay like this for quite some time.
It may put a damper on some of my wardrobe choices but boy oh boy will it make some of them look stellar!!
TMI???
It's also helping that I am able to go back and recall things that I did with Sweet Pea that I wished I had done differently and am able to learn from that experience and move forward.
For the first time in a long time I am actually 'taking it easy' (well easy for me) and not trying to do everything myself.
I even let Babe do some laundry! Not mine of course.....but its a start!
I am excited to see what the next few weeks hold and stay tuned to hear more about my progress on operation "get back into my skinny jeans".
Which sounds really shallow when I think about it but it's really about getting back to me and getting comfortable in this role as mother of two.

Did any one thing work for you to get back into your pre-baby shape?
What helped make you feel like YOU again?

1 comment:

  1. I am so excited for you, Amber! Congratulations!

    It is always about 2 weeks when the blahs hit. The euphoria of the new baby wears off, the meals and gifts and visitors taper off. And then LIFE.

    Remember: sleep deprivation is the hardest thing to endure. Even Navy Seals cannot hack it! Without sleep you are no good - to anyone. And you are crazy in your own head - and to those around you. :o)

    It is only temporary. A few weeks of delirium in between sweet moments with your son at your breast, seeing him smile for the first time, watching your groom love on him. Soak in those moments knowing they will never come again. And rest. Let the laundry pile up. Let the dishes sit. They will get done.

    You can do this! You were CHOSEN for this! And you have a God who is very big who can get you through the most difficult of days as you march through post partum life.

    I am committed to pray for you and I trust the Lord to give you grace to make it through.

    Love you!

    Michelle

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