Friday, January 6, 2012

Focus on Friendship

Lately I've been thinking about change,timing, relationships and priorities.
 Partially due to the little ninja who will be arriving next month and that will be a huge change for us. But also in part to a lot of things I've been reading, hearing and seeing.
It seems that we are in season of change over here in so cal.
Not a bad thing but just a growth period for us. And within that growth our priorities are being re-defined and re-focused. This is a good thing. We are finding ourselves drawn to more like minded individuals and pursuing relationships with them rather than just accepting or creating any old friendship.
That's not to say that we can't be friends with those that have other views or ways life but just that lately it seems the relationships we are growing in are the ones that are much like our own.
This holiday season it was definitely evident how our lives are changing yet again. We've spent more time with friends, building our famdamily, and reveling in those relationships than we ever have before.
Christmas Eve, we went by the home of one of D's best friends homes to just hang out before the hoopla of the next day that was to be spent with our kin......and there was something so cool about the simple joy of spending a few hours eating snacks, the kids playing, babies toddling and hubby's domino-ing (yes I just made that a word).
It was so simple but we had a grand time.
As we were on our way home I mentioned to D that we should do that every year from now on. Alternate houses, of course, and just spend Christmas Eve together as a group. He agreed it was a great idea.
Particularly since our older kids have grown up together ( we have photos of the Tweens back when they were 5,7&9 now they are 9, 12 and 15)
and we would like our younger kids to have the same opportunity.
Especially as the older the kids get the busier our "schedules" get and the less time we seem to have to just "kick it".
It's also been interesting to me note the changes in D's relationship with his closest friends over the last year.

They have been friends for a few decades and grew up together.
Now almost all of them have experienced fatherhood for the second time around in the last year and a half. They are older and wiser....and they have begun to realize they have to make more of an effort to keep up w/ each other similar to the way us women do.
There need to be boys nights filled with poker, cigars and video games, boys trips and excursions (there is a reason that paintball gun is sitting in our garage) and grill offs. They need to take time to nurture the friendships they have built before they look up and realize how much of each others lives they have missed out on.

Similarly we women need our ladies nights, spa days and the like.
We need these relationships to strengthen ourselves and when we get that time away we come back to our daily lives refreshed and with new perspectives.
 It's all relative.
This year we've decided to really focus on these relationships, be they new or old. Make the effort to reach out and find out what's going on. Be supportive and nurturing in all things and generally spend more time together.
Its been sad to see some of our friendships fall by the wayside due to lack of communication but thus is life and we will continue to look forward and not back.
I'm excited about the coming year and the many activities we will all get to participate in and how our kids will grow up together and one day when we are old and gray we will look back on these memories and say:
"It was all worth it. Thank God we put in the time and effort. These people have been a source of support for us for the last__ number of years."
Even better - is that our kids will have these memories and this famdamily for a lifetime if they so choose.
And in the end.....that's really what it's all about.

1 comment:

  1. I love that you have these lasting friendships to nurture! Always be grateful! As a military family none of our friends are really "old friends", they're all new friends,...and some times I really miss that!

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