Sunday, December 4, 2011

the situation

Being pregnant is probably one of the most blessed experiences a woman can have.
You are creating life within your very being.
There is something really magical about that.
But can we get real for a minute here?
The flip side of that is that wreaks havoc on your body in ways you never could imagine.
We all know the obvious, your stomach swells as do your feet, there is nausea to be dealt with followed by a voracious appetite.
But what about the stuff that no one talks about?
I was on the bump.com the other day and somehow got into an article the 10 strangest things about pregnancy.
I was cracking up.
No one tells you that not only will your boobs grow twice their normal size, they might leak, itch and otherwise be a complete nuisance.
Oh and you might lose your voluptuousness post baby.
You know that your belly will swell, thusly making it hard to see your shoes but does anyone talk about how you can no longer shave your legs?
Not too mention the bikini area. Yikes.
No one wants to feel like a hairy beast on top of being a roly poly.
And on the subject of hair, lets talk about how rapidly it grows!
Oh.my.word.
It's great for the hair on your head, I've gotten an extra two inches at least and I couldn't be more thrilled with that.
What I'm not thrilled about is the rapid growth under my arms and the sudden appearance of hair along my stretched and swollen belly.
Babe and I were joking about it the other night much to my chagrin.
Then there's the hair loss that some women are subject to postpartum.
Shedding at its finest. It's insane.
You spent 10 months growing all this extra hair and then suddenly it just begins to fall out???
How is that fair?
The other thing women don't discuss?
The gas.
Let's be honest here: we all burp and we all *toot* as it were, but the difference between pregnant gas and everyday gas is the lethality (is that even a word?) and consistency of said gas.
Once pregnant you turn into a frat boy in a beer belching contest and there is no stopping it.
As for tooting.......well let's just hope there's a dog around to blame it on cuz it is usually just all kinds of wrong.
And what about not being able to get in and out of things as easily?
I'm not talking about small spaces either.
The other night I got stuck in my pants. Got them all the way to my calves and couldn't really reach the hems to tug them off.
Embarrassingly enough I had to call my husband in the room for assistance. He found me laying on the bed with my pants just past my knees, feet in the air, desperately trying to reach my ankles.
I laughed so hard I cried. He cracked up as well.
And at least twice a week he has to help me pull my boots off as I can't really reach the bottom of the heel anymore.
But no one talks about those things.
There are others I could mention but I'll choose to keep those a "surprise" for my never-been-pregnant friends.
It's quite interesting to me that most of these topics aren't usually broached by women the world over.
I'm sure some ladies discuss it but only amongst their closest girlfriends and if it's brought up in a group, looks are exchanged and denials are issued "well that never happened to ME".
Isn't it ironic, the one time/ topic we should be willing to go full monty on (in regard to disclosure) we somehow find too personal to share?
Strangers see your goods ladies, at that point, nothing should be too personal to discuss with the ladies.


Were there any surprises that you discovered when you were pregnant?

3 comments:

  1. Uhm, check check and check to all those that you mentioned! Pregnancy is a crazy thing! I just finished dealing with the hair shedding and it is UNREAL. I thought I was going to be bald! And then after that stopped I got some weird regrowth at my hairline...the dreaded mommy bang "whispys". UGH. All worth it though :)

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  2. Ha ha, you are so funny! I am definitely dealing with the crazy hair loss right now... my hubby is like "seriously, your hair is everywhere!"

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  3. Lol, yes it's funny you should mention not being able to shave the bikini area. For me I just hated the idea of not being able to see my "bikini" area unless I was standing in a mirror. You know, you never realize how often you just kinda check-in on your "girl". Often times it's simply to confirm that everything is okay, but you feel like there's a void once it's been taken away!!!

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