Thursday, November 17, 2011

let it be


I'm finding this quote to be so true at this season in my life.
Even though I'm currently a SAHM - there are still things I want to do, people I want to see, books to read, projects to work on and posts/essays to write.
But I find that I am limited in my hours to do it all.
That vexes me.
I am doing my best to maintain a current state of "presence" at all times.
I want to be cognizant of the time I spend with my Sweet Pea, with my husband and with my friends, with our family before I become all consumed by Baby Ninja and his many wonders.
I know it will happen, just as it did with Sweet Pea, that he's all I will be able to think about and focus on.
So right now I want to just 'be'.
Be in the moment.
Be present.
Be fun.
Be positive and encouraging when needed.
Be home.
But sometimes, there just aren't enough hours in the day.
I find myself forfeiting my much needed afternoon nap in order to run errands so I can be done by the time Sweet Pea is out of school so all we have to do is go home, do homework and chill out.
But then I'm cranky come 5:30 and its too late for a cat nap as dinner needs to be started.
Lame.
I get frustrated and want to move on so I zone out with a book and the next thing I know I've become slacker mom & wife.
I need to get back to my "to-do" lists and focus on tackling a maximum of 3 things per day.
If it doesn't get done the world will not end.
But I will not get this time back.
Ever.
These Thursday moments with my kiddo where we can have lunch, do some homework, get cozy and watch a movie/do a craft/bake something and then perhaps take a nap.
Pretty soon she won't want to hang out with me, she'll be occupied with her friends.
And these evenings with Babe, where we sit and watch TV or read while basking in the delightful fragrance of a fall candle.....those too will be gone all too soon.
Baby Ninja will be here before we know it and much of the evening will be spent tending to him, folding laundry and other mundane chores.
So I for the rest of the year I am making a choice to just "let it be".
Let all the outside stressor go.
Let it be that my floors aren't sparkling if that means we were able to do a fun project and it got a little messy.
Let it be that the laundry sits for a few days if that means I spent time with my husband.
Let it be that I don't make some spectacular straight out of the cook-book, visually appealling dinner if that means we ate leftovers, but had quality time after dinner.
It's going to be hard since I'm a small time control freak but I look forward to the challenge.
My word for this year was "simplify" and I've been focusing on doing that more and more.
Lately, it has been at the forefront of all that I do.
So - I will tell myself that it's okay to just "let it be" and "simplify" what I can and just........enjoy.

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