late nights, long talks

Oy. What. a. week.
I am completely spent.
But in a good way I guess.
My week/weekend has been full of laughter, love and talking.
Some of my favorite things.
Last week was my "baby's" 9th birthday and I have been kind of an emotional wreck ever since.
My BFF Michelle called to tell me that she would actually be out here on her birthday to deal with some family things and we made tentative plans to get together Monday evening.
Monday came and went w/ no phone call.
Tuesday I text her and received " my dad is on his death bed".
My body went numb.
She left back to CT that Wednesday and I knew something had happened.
Thursday morning Michelle called to tell me that her Dad had passed away.
I've been kind of numb ever since.
I can't even fathom the void she must be feeling.
We were playing phone tag all weekend and I wasn't able to catch up to her until this past Thursday when I found out not only was she back here....but the funeral was on Friday and it was a bit late for me to call off work to attend with her.
I felt/feel terrible about that.
All day long my heart & head were telling me I needed to get to her. ASAP.
Fortunately they weren't leaving until late this afternoon so I was able to spend a few precious hours with her last night ......well into the wee hours of this morning.
There has been so much drama and stress surrounding her father's illness and ultimately his death that his release into the after life has been somewhat of a blessing.
He's no longer suffering and in pain, there's no reason to keep bickering about 'he said vs. she said'.
It's done. Over with. Life can move on now.
And yet - life will never be the same.
My husband was a bit surprised that I was wanting to go out after 8:45pm last night in inclement weather and trek back down to Garden Grove for a visit but I just looked at him and said " If your BFF's parent died and they were only in town for a few days wouldn't YOU be jumping through hoops to get to them?".
He agreed and wished me Godspeed.
It felt great to see Michelle's mom & sister and catch up w/ M's hubby Marc (whom I adore  for a number of reasons) although the circumstances were quite bizarre.
Once her sister and her boyfriend left and her mom dozed off it was just me, Michelle and Marc, just like old times.
And Marc being the great hubby that he is - chatted with us for a bit and then promptly went to bed so she and I could talk. 
One of the many things I love about this guy is his respect for our friendship.
He always seems to know when she and I just need a "moment" and he gives us that.
So we sat in the kitchen - in her parents house as we have so many nights before, drank wine and talked until 3am.
It felt like therapy. There were no tears but the emotion was palpable.
My friend - my ride or die chick needed me.
Not so much to lean on but to purge her mind.
And I was there.
I was willing to stay up all night if necessary so she could get out what she needed to say.
And we pretty much did.
I got home at 4am.
Tired but so happy to have seen and been able to hug my friend.
I don't when I'll get to see her next as her reasons for coming out here will be few and far between.
Looks like we'll be making a trip back east......sooner rather than later......
But it moments like this when I realize what our friendship is.
I looked at her and - our friendship has spanned the last 15+ years of our lives.
We met when we were 15 and we are just as close (if not more so) than we were then.
She knows ME and I KNOW her.
We have been through so much with and for each other.
Dealt with all the random struggles that life threw at us and came out on the other side.
Still great friends, still not judging each other and still needing this relationship.
I honestly don't know what I would do with out this girl in my life.
She is my heart.
Love you 'Chelle.

Please keep the Vandruff family in your prayers during this time.
The passing of Mr. Rick Vandruff was not a sudden shock but it was untimely none-the-less as he had quite the zest and zeal for life and the Lord.
He was not my dad but just a much a part of my teenage years as anything and I am grateful for having known him during his prime.
His memory will live on in our hearts forever.


  1. What a great friendship! And what a great friend you are :)

  2. Friendships like this are gems. What a blessing for both of you!!


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