Friday, January 29, 2010

five question fridaaaaay!!!!!

Clearly I'm in the mood to answer questions as I just posted this since I recently found the loverly Lauren's blog!
If you're familiar with this corner of the blog-o-sphere then you know that today is the day we all hop on over to Mama M's and play 5 Question Friday!!!!
Last week I was out of town and dealing with this so I missed out

You know the rules - copy the questions and answer them, then link back to Mama M for a blog-hopping hootenany!!! ( lol - I said "hootenany!!!" Ha!}

so let's get on with it shall we?

1. Would you ever vacation alone?
sure. but who would I talk to when something funny happens? the locals? I'd like to think I'm that cool but when it comes down to it....I need a side kick.
Unless you're talking about an all expense paid trip to Target Great land. Then I'd happily go alone.
 
2. Do you go the speed limit?
depends on what it is and where I'm going. for the most part yes. but everyone out here drives 15miles above what's posted so no worries right?

3. Why did you start blogging/following blogs?
last year - march to be exact. I discovered the world of blogging thanks to my friend Rachel and  Facebook and began my own shortly thereafter. I've been hooked ever since. Like a crack addiction except less expensive and I get to keep my teeth.

4. Where do you shop for yourself?
any and everywhere truthfully. If it's cute I don't discriminate. i love love love Nordstrom (regular retail location and the Rack) but it's not always in my price range so I make do with H&M, Forever 21 ,Hautelook.com and Target for good measure. You never know when you might just find a FAB deal!!!!
 
5. What was the song that you danced your first dance with your spouse to at your wedding...or...what song would you like your first dance to be to?
well since we are to be married in 178 days I guys I should get on that huh?
there are SO many songs to choose from! I really love Kenny Latimore's "For you I will" and Eric Benet & Tamia's "Spend my Life With you".......stay tuned and find out what it ends up being.....
okay I'm done with the Q& A ...go ahead and link up and play along!
you'll be glad you did!
Happy Friday Everyone! 



MckLinky Blog Hop

Switching things up........fill in the blank Friday

hello friends! it's FRIDAY!!!!
are y'all as excited about that as I am??
It has been a LONG but short week and I am ready for a rest!
so normally I do 5 question Friday with Mama M whom I adore ....but when I got to my Dashboard I saw that the always funny Keely had found this lovely blog!
I am all about the new fun stuff and hey who doesn't like to fill in the blanks?
it's like choose your own adventure!
so I thought I'd play along and then do Mama M's 5 Questions in a whole seperate post.
Two posts on a Friday????!!! What!!????
Walking on the wild side I tell ya.....

so here we gooooooo

1.  If I weren't a    production coordinator          I'd love to be     a writer.                    .

2.  When I'm super upset I    read, go shopping if funds permit, daydream, cry, YOGA - whatever needs to be done!

3.  My favorite thing about myself is my laugh and my smile

4.  If I found a $100 in the pocket of last winter's coat I'd spend it on   hello $1 aisle at Target and Dollar Tree store!! LOVES!!!!

5.  Even though some people might consider this a flaw, I love   my moles. they give me character and remind me of my aunts and mother. also my Sweet Pea has mirror images of the ones I have on my back :)

6.  I love the way I feel    after yoga or a strenuous workout. powerful and ready to take on the world. 

7.  I love my hair most when it's freshly done and clean and honey colored. love the way the wind feels against my scalp!

Okay that was FUN!!!
if you want to link up go ahead and run on over to Lauren's blog and jump on the McLinky!!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

it's so hard... to say goodbye...

I've been M.I.A for the last few days ( did you even notice?) as I posted this last week.
Well.....on Wednesday January 20th my Grandmother Mary L. Ross Larkins went to heaven.
At about 6am as I was finishing up my makeup to leave for work, my phone rang.
It was my mother.
I looked at it and knew.
I let it ring a few times before picking up and hearing the words I had been anticipating/dreading for weeks.
"Grandma's gone".
Immediately I burst into tears and then pulled it together to get to work on time.
I had a lot to do before I left.
at about 9am I received an email from a travel agent letting me know I had a 6am flight out the next morning.
Thank God for my Dad and my Aunt.
  We were able to meet each other in Atlanta and fly on to Ohio togethe.
 Under normal circumstances, going home to Ohio is always great fun.
I get to see family I haven't seen in years, some I've never met or don't remember meeting.
There are old family friends who tell me how much I look like my mother and all of my Aunts and Uncles.
But this time was different.
My Grandmother was the matriarch of  our family.
She is the only Grand I have/had.
To walk into her house and not hear her call out to me or come around the corner with arms out stretched was HARD.
All the familiar sights and smells, but no Grandma.
Not in the physical sense anyway.
Her spirit was EVERYWHERE though.
As I said here, she was a huge fan of angels and there was real heavenly host hanging out in her house.
I counted 16 angels in "my" bedroom alone.
There has to be at least 100+ in the house all-together.
and it was comforting to see them all and know that she is with them.
Our angel.
Watching over us all.
Being the wonderful woman she was she had everything prepared for her eventual passing - down to how long each person could speak at the funeral!
One of my aunts read Proverbs 31 - The Virtous Woman
and it was SO appropriate.
My grandmother was a living,breathing example to me and the rest of my cousins on how to be not just a lady,
but a woman of and for God.
And for that I am eternally grateful.
Even in her darkest, most painful moments she thanked God for giving her one more minute,
one more hour, one more day.
Not once did she complain.
Not once did she cry out and say "why me Lord?"
It's an example that I plan to learn from and and live by.
The last time I spoke to her she told me how much she loved me and I told her the same
and I find comfort in that.
She was:
Amazing
Mother
Magnificent
Funny
Friend
Charming
Kind
Loving
Grandmother
Supportive
Forgiving
Understanding
Wife

A Virtuous woman indeed.

***********************

I would also like to thank all those who have called, emailed, text or facebooked me their condolences.
it was such a blessing to receive such a marvelous out pouring of love from friends and even strangers alike.
I have been so blessed to have such loving family and friends.
thank you






Tuesday, January 19, 2010

truthful tuesday



my brain needs a break
so I checked out my dashboard to see who's doing what and
 I decided to partake in a little thing called Truthful Tuesday over at Confessions From a Working Mom
You may recall I was doing a little something like that a while back called
True Confession Tuesday,
but that was mostly MY truths.
This version has a topic question that you can answer and link up to play along!!
I love these things because I'm inherently nosy and get a kick out of seeing a quick glimpse into the lives of other women
and I find some cool new blogs to follow in the process!!
Like this lady!!!
she's Sassy and I like it !



This week's question is:
How has motherhood taught you to let go?
 
ha! thats a contradictory question! if anything mother hood has made me want to hold on tighter to some things while letting go of others all together. 
 
***
I hold on tight to my memories and experiences that I have with the Sweet Pea. I try to  make sure I am really IN the moment when we have our quality time and to have it OFTEN!!!
 
***
On the flip side, my OCD switched into hyper-drive once Sweet Pea was born.
but only in regard to her. when it came to housework and personal maitenance......fuggghedaboutit.
I spent two weeks in the same 2 pair of yoga pants. :)

******
In the begining I wanted to be a "Hot Mom" or "Yummy Mummy" as they say across the pond. Simply because I wanted to "look good for a mom" and somewhere along the way I let go of that. I realized that I want to look good for my (soon-to-be) Hubby and ME. Not for the ladies at the playground.
 
****
I've let go of a few parenting 'ideals' I had picked up along the way.
No one has all the answers. No one's child is perfectly behaved ALL the time.
And I definitely don't know what I'm doing.
but I'm having a good time in the process!
 
 
I think thats all I've let go of!
this was fun!
Link up below and play along! 

Monday, January 18, 2010

angels......



my mind is all over the place right now and am having a hard time focusing on one subject.
And for those who aren't aware it is raining in California.
Yes, the place where it was once proclaimed it NEVER rains, is having a 'storm'.
I do that it quotes as anytime there is any precipitation, the news channels deem it a "storm watch"
and it's all the rage.
can't imagine what they would do if it snowed.
but I digress.
I have several things on my mind today.
My grandma for starters. she has not improved in the slightest.
And my mother left last Sunday the 10th as she was asking for her.
Basically, the hospice nurse said to start calling people and let them know it's about time.
My heart is breaking.
My mother is watching her mother suffer and languish.
and I know it's killing her.
but I have no words of solace to offer her as I am consumed by own selfish grief.
But I pray for her constantly.
May she be comforted knowing that SHE was there when my Grandma needed her the most.
I was talking to a friend of mine earlier about how Grandma's going to a better place etc.
And something dawned on me.
See my Grandma has always had a thing for angels.
she has a ton of figurines around the house, and gave me a doll several years ago when Sweet Pea was born to watch over her.
Well about 4 years ago my mom came back from a visit and had a box for me,
my grandma is notorious for giving away jewlery for no reason so I wasn't that surprised to receive something.
I open the box and nestled inside is a lovely silver angel hanging from a chain.
well about a year ago, I was taking the necklace off at home and the chain snapped!
It was a bit of a tragedy for me as I hadn't realized how much I relied on the chain
(just touching it was a form of re-assurance that someone was out there)
I put it away to get it fixed and forgot about it.
Until recently.
I desperately want to get this chain fixed now.
and while thinking all this it occurred to me.
Yes my grandma is getting ready to leave this world.
but she is going to a better place and I am NOT worried about her.
Not one bit.
I realize now that SHE is my angel and will always be looking down on me.
Whenever I feel lost,scared or unsure, I will close my eyes and feel her presence.
I will never forget all the wonderful laughs we shared and all the things she has passed on to me.
I was blessed with the opportunity to get to know this amazing woman and she has passed on to me a belief that things are better "on the other side" and that she will not leave me.
No. she will be a little harder for me to reach physically and I won't be able to call up and her voice
but
I KNOW
she will be there whenever,wherever, and for whatever.






Wednesday, January 13, 2010

photomania



so remember how I said HERE that we spent the weekend with THIS fabulous lady?
Well she posted the pictures!!
Whoohoo!
We're famous!
Head on over to the  Melissa Brandman Photography blog and check them out!
And if you're on Facebook , go ahead and become a fan of her business as well!!!

Honestly this woman is A-MAZ-ING!
she had my NFL loving fiance out for nearly 3 hours, missing all the play-off games with no complaint!
He even complimented her on her level of professionalism and her patience!
Not too mention he was grateful for her excellent direction on how to look 'naturally cheesy'!
She even managed to get the kid to help out and into the 'spirit' of things with a little cotton candy bribery
(which I am totally NOT opposed to by the way)

Thank you Melissa for this wonderful experience!
We can't wait until the wedding in July!!!

And thanks to THIS special lady for making sure we looked good!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

dilemma & some things I like

I am now knee deep into the 'wedding planning' and I am LOVING it.
and hating it.
I am a creative minded individual who is inspired by what she see's.
Unfortunately I see a LOT that I like!
or at least want to utilize in some way!
Like the photo collage below.
I love my color scheme.'
Have worked hard on it.
buuuuut.....
now I'm looking at the lovely purpley,blue,turquoise green-ness of it all makes me want to switch things up.


I mean how cute/pretty is that???
And in july too?
hmmmm......maybe I can figure out how to work that in with my original ideas......
I'm also thinking about switching up the girls dress colors again.
sigh.
maybe just have the maids of honor in color?
I don't know.
I need to reign it in that's for sure.
otherwise I will let my imagination run away with me!!!
This weekend I plan on hitting up my local Micheal's and seeing what they have in the way of feathers and beads for making a fancy schmancy hair piece for me and possibly headbands for the flower girls or maybe a brooch for my mom!!!
and I really want cute creative, custom invitations.
Not something everyone else has used/seen before.
I and I would LOVE to D.I.Y them but need to schedule a time
And recruit some help!
And of course how am I going to print them once I have all the materials??????
***************
I'm also REALLY digging this
I am in the mood to switch up a few things in the house now that the holidays are over
(in fact Babe asked me yesterday if we were going to switch out the pillows again)
Purple is my favorite color and blue is his lucky color.
And I have curtains that would accent this perfectly!
Maybe it's a sign.
clearly there is a theme going on here ; color wise
I must be in the mood for change as I recently added highlights to my hair
(it was waayyy too dark)
and am looking up ways to spruce up our bedroom as well with this!
I love Target!!!

AND we need to go ahead and set up our registry.
it's a hard job. but someone has to point the little gun at all the 'stuff'!!!

Monday, January 11, 2010

FAILURE

Set the alarm last night only to forget to turn it on.
so instead of 5a.m.
I woke up at 6:28
AWESOME.
hit the ground running and took the fastest shower EVER.
still made it to the train on time
albeit, not looking quite as 'put together' as I had intended.
so there was no 'Shred' happening in my house this morning.
But tomorrow...........
is another day
and I will Shred!!!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

weekend wrap up

whew! this weekend flew by!
it seems like just yesterday I was thinking
"T.G.I.F"
and now it's back to work?
what the heck?
Finally watched "The Hangover" on Friday evening and could not stop laughing!!
Even the next day, we were still cracking up!!
Saturday we had our engagement shoot with the
A-MAZ-ING
She is an old friend of mine from my BCHS days and when I found out she had launched her photography business I jumped at the chance to have her photograph us!
So most of Saturday was spent gazing into my Babe's eyes, avoiding poison oak/ivy, gopher holes and eating a massive amount of cotton candy!
We had. so. much. fun!
And Melissa was awesome at including Sweet Pea into the mix as well!
After we got the final shot and got in the car, Babe remarked at how impressed he was with how she hung out with us all day and how he couldn't wait to see the final photos!
My wonderful friend Rachel also joined us for a bit as our stylist for the day and really helped us get just the right looks and images!!
Thanks Rach!!
Run on over here and check out a sneak peek!
I can't wait to see them all!
The suspense is killing me!!!
********
After our photo shoot we met up with my Dad at P.F. Chang's
(our ususal fav)
as we were all starving
(modeling is very hard work)
we had a scrumptious dinner then dashed off to my Mom's for a hot one.
She's leaving this evening to go back to Ohio and be with my Grandma.
Not sure for how long or what's going to happen but will be praying fervently.
Today was just kind of chill.
Got up and had to go get milk from the store , came home and Babe was making breakfast!
So I threw some cinnamon rolls in the oven and it was a party!
We basically just lounged about until I decided to make dinner happen.
It was an absolutely loverly weekend!
Tomorrow I start week 2 of the 30 day Shred and am moving on to Level 2.
Wish me luck!

It's Sunday....

last day for a fun day before we have to get back to it on Monday
I decided to play along with Keely's
Getting to Know You blog hop!!!



If you've never played along all you have to do is copy and paste the questions
answer them
come back here and link up!!
This weeks questions are...
1. If you were stranded on a desert island and could pick one person to be stranded with you..Who would you pick? Family members not included.
ooohh that's a tough one.
on the one hand you would want to pick someone you could get along with but on the other I would want to be able to survive and get off the island.
so I would have to say some type of person with mad survival skills like the guy on Man vs. Wild or whatever that show is. Cuz I'm going to need someone resourceful keep an eye out for a safeplace to pee,
a place to sleep, finding things to eat and getting us off the island.
2. Do you read celebrity gossip?
I do.
I admit it.
And not just in the checkout line either.
Although it's not nearly as much as I used to.
but, I can't help it.
It's entertainment.

3. Favorite show you're waching this season?
Hmm.....really, nothing right now.
I can't wait for "Flash Forward" to come back and I do like to get my "Real Housewives" on.
And of course Glee is amazing.

4. How tall are you?
towering at 5'4"

5. What was the last book you read?
I was reading two 'Scarpetta' by Patricia Cornwell and
"The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger (don't laugh)
now I'm getting ready to read the U is for Undertow by Sue Grafton!!

6. Flats or heels?
both. Depends on the outfit situation and what all I'm going to do.
Most days I wear flats because do a lot of standing and waiting for the train during the week but I do like to switch it up every now and again and pretend I'm a super model.
7. If you had to choose one natural disaser to go through, what would you choose..Earthquake, Tornado, or Hurricane?
ummm none of the above?
I live in Cali so obviously I know about Earthquakes but I wouldn't want to be around when a BIG one hits.
The only upside to a Hurricane is that you usually have some type of prior warning so you can get out of dodge and a Tornado is just wrong.
I've seen Twister.....
No thank you!!
8. Thong, panties, or (gasp) granny panties?
generally speaking, a thong.
all day. everyday.
I'd be lying if I said I thought they were comfortable but
I don't have time to worry about vpl
and it's a matter of convenience.
sorry.
Hopefully getting to know ME wasn't too bad/scary/ TMI .....
so link up already!!

Friday, January 8, 2010

T.G.I five question friday

wow we have already gone through the very first week of the new year!
Holy smokes how did that happen?

I must admit I am SO ready for this week to be over.
Emotionally drained and whatnot.
BUT
tomorrow we take our engagement pictures!!!
whoo hoo!!!

so check back soon for the link!

Now on to more important stuff.....
Today is:

hooray!! I missed last week's as I was stuffing my face with yummy New Year's Gumbo.
You know the rules right?
No?
well here they are


For all you first timers...here's the deets:
Copy and paste the following questions to your blog, answer them, grab the MckLinky code (if you want) then come on back and link up! I would love, love, love it, if you'd link back to Mama M.!!


For those of you that don't have a blog (get on it!!) feel free to answer in the questions below here, or at any blog you visit


1. What's your "comfort food"?
hmmm...good question.
i guess french fries.
I mean I know most people will say mac'n cheese or something like that but I just really enjoy french fries and can/do eat the as often as possible.
and bread.
ohhh bread. mmmmmm
everything looks better after bread
or pizza. but I guess that falls into the bread category right?

2. Do you send Thank You's (handwritten or email)?
I try to sen handwritten ones as often as possible but it depends on why I am 'thanking' them!
It's always lovely to get an unexpected note/card in the mail don't you think?
3. If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which show would you choose?
oh this is tough. I don't watch that much TV that I would even want to be trapped in anything for a month.
does the show have to still be on the air?
Cuz I would choose either Sex & the City, Friends or Gilmore Girls.
random assortment of choices I know, but love,love,love the SATC ladies, and see below about my Friends love and Gilmore Girls just makes me laugh. love the mother/daughter relationship.

4. What is your favorite online recipe site?
ha! this is too funny I have several.
The pioneer woman is A-W-E some!!!
and the foodnetwork is always handy in a pinch but I do like allrecipes.com as well.....
5. If you had to choose: "Friends" or "Seinfeld"?

while I get the dry humor of Seinfeld......I choose Friends.

I mean c'mon. a chick & a duck. a monkey named marcel
and the most OCD person ever imaginable!!!
whats not to love???

YOUR turn!!!




MckLinky Blog Hop

Thursday, January 7, 2010

raw

thats the best way to describe my emotions right now.
I am a complete mess and am just waiting for the breakdown.
I want to cry ALL the time.
these last few weeks have been really hard
since finding out that my grandma has been told she only has so long to live and coming to the realization that this may very well be the last year of her life and my little girl will not grow up knowing her the way I do is heartbreaking.
I have been pushing myself to the limit each day and its starting to take its toll
not only on me but my family as well.
my mother is hurting
my brother is too far away to 'be there' for her leaving myself and my aunt (her sister) and she's hurting as well......
and I don't.know.what.to.do.
other than pray
and believe me I have been on my knees daily!!!

I am having such a hard time keeping it together......


maybe I just need a good cry to get it all out?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

resolve


its seems that everyone is making and touting their new years resolutions.
I don't usually as I am a major procrastinator and am seriously bothered when things don't get checked off my lists.
but this year is different.
don't ask me why because I can't articulate it.
It just is.
I can feel it.
We have so much happening this year!!!
I am OVERJOYED about all the 2010 has to offer
Sweet Pea turning 8
gettting married
continuing traditions and beginning new ones as a unified family
experiencing all of the little things life has to offer.......

My good friend Rachel has chosen a "word" for the year and I think that is an excellent idea to include in resolutions or as an alternative.
so what do I resolve?
well few simple things really
  • to spend more quality time with my Sweet Pea each evening. with the new work schedule it's been hard to carve out quality time each evening and I intend to work on that!
  • a set date night ;minimum 2x a month - yes I know that doesn't seem like a lot of QT but when you're saving for a wedding this is all the budget will allow.
  • to get to church more regularly - i'm not setting a number of days in stone cuz I'll only be disappointed if it doesn't happen but I would like this to be a family priority
  • maintain a healthy level of fitness and incorporate more fruits and veggies into our diet
  • RELAX - this may seem silly but if you know me you understand I move at the speed of light 95% of the time and being still to relax is not really in my vocabulary
  • be a better friend/wife/mother/sister/daughter- since my attention span is virtually nil this is really something I strive to work on.
    I want to give as good as I get in 2010 and I feel like these 6 goals will help me do that.
I don't know if I have one word for 2010.
I love words and it is incredibly hard to choose just one
but.........if pressed it would be:

FAITH

FAITH is what has gotten me to this point
it's what I have in my fiance that he will be a wonderful husband, father and provider
it's what gets me to and from work each day

FAITH was what saved me.......
from myself, from the 'world', from a place of darkness
it's comforted me in the night and even in the bleakness of the day
and I have FAITH that things will go according to plan
FAITH is what is going to get my family through my grandmother's illness

I think for this year and all that we will be embarking on
we will need to have lots of FAITH that it will all come together
FAITH that we will be placed in situations that are beneficial to us and
FAITH that He will see us through it!



***************************************************
God has been so good to me
He came so that I might have a life
and have it more abundantly
and in 2010 I do not intend to let His coming have been in vain
I will continue to let my light shine for all to see!!!!


Monday, January 4, 2010

it wasn't so bad


this morning.
getting up at 5am.
I admit I hit the alarm and laid back down for a minute
but then quickly hopped up
determined not to sabotage myself before I even got started.
( doing good right? (wink, wink))
so I dragged my weary body downstairs and got prepared to be whipped into shape by
Ms. Jillian Michaels
possibly the scariest thing to come through my television.
by no means was it a 'good time' but I did have a little more pep in my step as I raced back up the stairs to hop in the shower.
I trudged through all but 8 minutes of the workout as I would have been late otherwise
I know in a few weeks when I start to see results I will be thanking
Ms. Jillian for making me 'push through' these early mornings
but tomorrow?
my body might just hate me and her!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

brand new

all weekend long I have been humming Nina Simone's " A New Day"......
because as of midnight Thursday it IS a new day!
a new dawn and a new day.
a chance to make things right.
This holiday season was 'blink and you'll miss it' for us with me working full time and Babe and Sweet Pea on vacation for two weeks.
we were pretty low key and I dug that a lot.
I am excited for all this year has to bring.
so many wonderful things to look forward to!
I'm still working on my 'resolutions' though.
I have a few I would like to for sure see accomplished but need to set about implementing a plan to complete them.
Obviously the big for us this year is the WEDDDING!
I am so excited I want to burst!!!
There are so many things that I cannot wait for us to do this year and I just know that this is going to be another monumental year for us!!

Happy 2010 Everyone!!!

*****
p.s. I will post pics soon from Christmas - i know I'm terribly behind but actually took the time to rest over the holidays.....
go figure! ********

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