Wednesday, September 30, 2009

stay at home mom vs. work from home mom - a different perspective (part1)

vs.

My good friend Phnewfula (thats New-fa-la) over at http://shopturtlepie.wordpress.com/ posted this about a conversation we had this morning regarding her working from home and me not.
The gist of the conversation was that while she loves having the ability to do her job from home it is somewhat frustrating as her son is 16 months and very active!
(ahhh I remember what it was like to chase after a 16 month old!)
She was lamenting about how she feels bad about him being cooped up in the house with her while she's working and doesn't feel like she has enough time in the day to do "fun" things like play dates, walks, or going to the park.
And I totally get where she's coming from.
It is hard to try and get any work done,
be it housework, homework or work "work" when a toddler is involved!!!
I should know as I went back to work and school just after my Sweet Pea turned 2
I felt like a horrible parent because I went to work, picked her up from day-care/ pre-school , rushed home to heat up dinner and then went off to class 3 nights a week.
That being said I think there is a BIG misconception on what a SAHM does.
I for one do not sit on my duff all day.
It's actually pretty rare that I sit period.
From the moment I get up and get the family out the door I am off and running.
Wether I'm looking for a "job" that pays, planning the wedding, writing for the blogs/ book
and a million other things.
Then there is the housework.
Sweet Pea's homework
helping out at her school,
taking her to lessons,
running errands
and thats not including making time for Babe!

I'm sure that doesnt sound like a lot to those who have full time jobs but as someone who has worked full time while being a mom - for me, staying at home is a lot harder than going into the office each day.
Yeah technically I can do it at my own pace but unfortunately my days don't always go as planned and I am forced to re-arrange my plans.
Same as when I worked for someone and had to adjust my day to accomodate an "urgent" project or deadline.
And to be honest, I wouldn't mind working from home.
Oh to get paid and take care of my family!
Awesome.
Especially since Sweet Pea is gone from 8a.m. to 3p.m.

And the women who work from home do just as much as I do as they balance the demands of an employer against those of their family.
Now in Phnewfula's case, she has a toddler and I have a 7 yr. old.
The main difference there is my kid is old enough to understand
"mommy has to do some work right now, we will go play in a few hours".
AND
she goes to school so I don't have a little person in my face all day.
Also,I am super organized and OCD so I have a "schedule" if you will.
(Sorry Phnewf - I love you dearly but I've worked with/for you and we both know organized is NOT what anyone would call you.)

Now I know if you have an uber demanding job it's not possible to always set a deadline and stick to it but I feel its really necessary to make sure I am not so absorbed in the "work" I'm doing that I'm not doing my "real job".
As women we are so hard on ourselves to be great at everything we do. We like to look put together, make wonderful meals, have intelligent well -behaved children, a well kept home and adoring husbands/boyfriends/partners etc....

So,
to ALL of the moms out there:
whether you work from home, outside the home or are "just a mom"
hold your head high!
Everyday you tackle the most difficult job there is:
raising children
Yet you do it with such style, ease and finesse you make it look like a walk in the park.


Rock on Ladies.

It's a tough job but somebody's gotta do it!

3 comments:

  1. hahahahaha lmao @ me not being organized. Nope, that hasn't changed. I can multi task! I can change a diaper while on the phone w/o getting poop all over the place. No matter what kind of moms we are our roles are a different as snowflakes. This is a conversation that could go on for years. As a mom I do recognize that and I appreciate any mom who makes the effort to balance work and family. it is a hard job, only a woman can do it:-)

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  2. Great post!! Thanks for sharing.

    Visiting from Home Sanctuary.
    Have a great day!
    Angie

    ReplyDelete
  3. What I appreciate is that we can each make the decisions about what is best for our own families. We moms have a huge responsibility and a privilege to raise the children God has blessed us with. Along the way we all need some encouragement. Keep up the good work girls!! Your kiddos need you!
    From a SAHM of 5
    LydiaCate

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