Thursday, September 3, 2009

a reason. a season. a lifetime

Since I hosted a ladies night over the weekend that was somewhat of a science experiment
this past week I have been thinking a lot about my friendships.
And I don't mean like crazy-blow-up in your face science experiment.
I mean like a scientific study.
See I have all different kinds of friends.
Ages, creeds, colors, races and religions.
And I love to bring them all together to see how people interact.
(I was a Mass Communication major in college , who's favorite class was organizational communication, so I am slightly obsessed with how people deal with each other.)
Sometimes I cringe, sometimes I giggle and sometimes I just shake my head.
I often wonder about how people become and remain friends as they go through life.
It seems we all go through stages when one of our friends is more dominant in our life either because of where we live, what we do or what we believe.
I truly believe people come into your life for a reason and you theirs.
You may not realize it at the time, but that person you go to lunch with everyday at work - needs that.
They look forward to that time with you and the "inside jokes".
The same can be said for lifelong friends.
YOU make think you have no room for them in your life now, or that you are in "totally different places" but they are still there for a reason.
Perhaps to remind you of who you were and to show you how far you've come.
Perhaps you are an inspiration to them!
Currently I am under the impression that we seek out people who fill a void in our lives or people who inspire us.
I have several friends now, that if asked ten years ago, I wouldn't have said I would be friends with and there are others that I would have sworn up and down would be the BEST of friends but haven't spoken to in years.
A reason, A season or a lifetime.
Cycle in and cycle out.
I think its up to us to decide who stays and for how long and to determine what if anything these friendships bring to our lives.
Because if at age 30 we are simply friends because "we've been friends for the last 20 years"
and there is NOTHING else there.......maybe its time to move on?
Any thoughts?

3 comments:

  1. Throughout my life i have broken up with many friends.. i feel like friendships are like relationships and sometimes they don't work out and you need to 'break up'.. in relationships when you break up, it's hard to be friends because there's no real reason to be.. same with friendships, sometimes they just don't work out, or you grow apart and it doesn't phase either person.

    Maybe it's because i'm very independent, i consider my husband my best friend and he's really all i need, and though i have many other friends.. i'm not super close to any of them (sisters don't count), maybe it's because i don't have any voids to fill? i'd like to think so :)

    And i like your thoughtful post! very deep!

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  2. isn't it a wonder... i think as we get older, we know exactly what we are looking for, even in friendship. on another note, as i have gotten older, i have learned to allow all people from all walks of life, to walk into the friendship door. never boring that way! lol
    xoxo

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  3. i have never had alot of BEST friends as they say. I have many aquaintences, but only a few close friends and of those few it seems like only a couple have remained tried and true. I tend to disclose different parts of myself to each of my friends...It's not like i keep secrets or lie to them, but that i choose to reveal different things to different friends based on how i feel they can/cannot relate to different aspects of my life. it's funny, the more i comment you the more i realize how i really feel about my friendships...you got my wheels turning!

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